It used to seem ironic to me that things in my life seemed to coincide with each other. That life lessons seemed to be repeating themselves in almost every aspect of my life. I realize now more than ever that is not so much irony, as fate, for lack of a better word.
I've been trying to put together the pieces that I have felt were missing with activities like church, reading/writing, etc. and many things have been pointing in one direction: I'm never alone and I need to trust in the plan that's decided for me.
So in my reading of my favorite blog, Pink Lou Lou, I came across this devotional that came at the perfect time. Here are some quotes that really spoke to me:
"It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in princes." Psalm 118:9
"You need to take your focus off making the right decision and trust God. No matter what you decide to do, He will still take care of you and He will accomplish His purpose for you." (from Psalm 138:8)
"Sometimes the biggest decision is to simply make one."
This past Sunday I went to church, and for the first time I was alone. I'm not very good at being alone either. I love socializing, and feeling loved, but this experience was absolutely necessary. The sermon talked about heaven, and how you'll see all of your defining moments before you pass. I then thought about what my defining moments are thus far, and what I want them to be, and it dawned on me that I no matter what my moments are, no matter what decisions I make, no matter who I am with, there is always someone watching out for me and my best interest because my destiny is predetermined.
I've never considered myself a religious person, and still don't even though this post seems to portray that, but recently my step mother talked to me about angels. I've always thought of my Aunt Terri, who died at the age of 24 because she was hit my a drunk driver, as my angel. I was so young when she died, but I have memories of her that never seem to fade. Margaret told me that whenever I need angels, if it's 1, 10, or 100 all I need to do is ask, and they'll be there. Something about knowing I'm never alone brings comfort.
The moral of this post is that I've been so concerned with my end result, that I'm not enjoying the present. I've always focused on the future, and I want to stop focusing on the outcome of every decision, and just feel blessed with what I have now.
